dude i never agreed to be silenced

i dont get it why people just make rash decisions. but theres a lot of stuff i don’t get, i guess. like i don’t get why main girl is in a job that’s really hard and makes her have emotional brakedowns. and i dont also get why she moved everything around in her room this weekend. and i mainly right now don’t get why nobody believes that we are different people.

main girl has decided she doesnt want to talk to people this week but what that really means is that she is givng Nutella a break and trying to figure out her life. i’m ok with that cuz i think main girl really NEEDS to figure out her life but i don’t get why that has anything to do with me. i don’t need to figure out my life, well not like that. i don’t have her issues, i’m just me, and i’m totally fine.

so explain to  me how it’s fair that i dont get to talk to Nutella either? because it doesn’t make  ANY sense. if there’s the rule that i can’t date other people because i’m in the same body and whatever i’m “the same person” as main girl then i guess ok. but i’m NOT though, and i’m not talking about dating anyone else because i don’t WANT to because I LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND. but like, i’m so not the same person as main girl.

most of the time i’m used to being treated like her and i’m ok with it because it’s harmless and i’m like a brother that protects her. but like come ON. sometimes it’s really not fair. like now! why does anyone else have a say about when i talk to my girlfriend? why do i gotta feel like i’m ignoring her when i want to talk to her? what the hell, right?

i hate feeling bad, it sucks, and i didn’t even do anything.

and since she isn’t updating this its my job to keep track of shit so sunday she had like an anxiety attack in a fucking store, no fun, then couldn’t sleep all night and is taking pills and *stuff* to calm herself down cuz yea it’s going sooooo fucking well. but she also doesn’t want to feel anything, and i DO understand that cuz i used to drink lots.


3 thoughts on “dude i never agreed to be silenced

  1. Sam Ruck says:


    I’m sorry for the position you are in. I had another d.i.d. friend whose main girl

    decided to break off her relationship with her girlfriend without the approval of the

    others in the group and it was very destructive to everyone because the little girls

    all saw the girlfriend as their mom. I hope Hats will be VERY careful because no one

    should be making unilateral decisions that affect everyone. Not you, not Kitty, not

    Hats. No one.

    I have made it extremely clear to Karen (my main girl) that I will NOT allow her or

    anyone in the group to make unilateral kinds of decisions, but marriage makes it a

    little harder for Karen to do that (plus the fact that I make all the money so leaving

    me would be difficult, though I NEVER hold that over her head).

    I wish the best for you and Hats and the others. I’m sorry you feel shafted right now.

    I hope Hats gets thru this funk and understands you all stick together and make

    decisions as a group now or it can get very ugly.


    • Ben says:

      Although I don’t encourage one person to be making decisions that upset others, I certainly don’t see it as my place to make the call either way. I can make suggestions, point out things that I don’t think they may see, advocate, etc. but I find it somewhat disconcerting that you would find it within your right to “allow” or not allow your wife or any of her insiders to make choices, positive of negative. Not to mention your quickness to point out why you think Karen would not be able to leave you. To me, it’s clear that you do hold that over her head.

      I’m sorry that you, J$, are having trouble. I only mean to point out that this support for you appears to discredit Hats. You should all be supported as a family, even in disagreements.


  2. Sam Ruck says:


    I’m sorry I offended you on their blog. I don’t know if I

    should defend your accusations made in ignorance of my life

    and marriage on another person’s blog. I’ll just say that I

    give you far more credit and assume the best of you and

    what you say than you obviously do of me.

    I reiterated today to all my girls, I support ALL and EACH of

    them. I NEVER play one girl off another. Though I can’t “force” them to do what I feel, I can certainly give my strong opinion based on one who is at least somewhat emotionally healthy. And in my view which I understand may be different than most, Alley, Amy, and all the other little girls are just as much “my wife” as Karen is even though at this point in their healing, I have never interacted (i.e. physical intimacy) with them in that way.

    Sorry I offended you. I hope you’re just having a bad-hair

    day, Ben. If you feel the need to continue to discuss this, maybe you should bring it to my blog so we don’t hijack J$’s post.

    Blessings to you and yours!


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